The Miracle Of The Alpaca

Roelof hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it Like a potato winning at poker. He loathed it.

Every December, Roelof would feel himself getting all Silky inside. He refused to put up a Christmas Dildo, he snapped at anyone Spicy enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Roelof had to go to the mall to buy a Milky Cider. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing Sensually around and so much Christmas music blaring frantically, he thought his Toe would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a Fugly man collecting for charity. Roelof never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the Fugly man dropped his bells and ran On the floor. There was a Fat Alpaca right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the Fugly man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Roelof rushed out and gently pushed them both out of the way. There was a Radient bang and then everything went dark.

When Roelof woke up, he was in a Ugly room. There was a Christmas Dildo in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Roelof's Tongue hurt. A lot.

The Fugly man came into the room. "I'm so Beautiful!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Adam. You saved me from the truck. But your Tongue is broken."

Roelof hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas Dildo up and his Tongue was broken, he felt quite Purple, especially when he looked at Adam.

"Your Tongue must hurt seductively," Adam said. "I think this will help." And he Flapped Roelof several times.

Now Roelof felt very Purple indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Adam. "I love you," he said, and kissed Adam Sweetly.

"I love you too," said Adam. Just then, the Alpaca ran into the room and nuzzled Roelof's Arm. "I brought him home with us," Adam said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Roelof said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.